Everyone's Good Girl

I have been wondering how it feels like to be everyone's good girl. Does it feel nice? How does it feel to be loved by everyone? It's not like that I've never received any love even from my family; my family loves me too much I can say they spoiled me in any way they can. But it's just when I go outside and see people, see my so-called-friend, I wonder if they really notice if someday I'm gone.

I'm a cold person, said everyone. I have a plain expression so no one really knows how I feel if I don't tell them. I'm doing this because in the past, I learned that everyone always gave me fake responses whenever I tell them how I feel. It's like "Oh, is that so?" and that's all. So I decided, "Why should I tell them everything? Are they even concerned?" that was how I turned to this kind of person.

I love watching dramas, especially the japanese dramas, and the romantic ones. Most of the main girl character always has cheerful, wonderful personality that makes people around her want to always be with her. How nice. I also have some friends who have that kind of personality. I envy them so much. Especially this one person.

She used to be my closest friend when I entered university. But time surpasses everything. It's decided that I am not compatible with her, she's just too pure and I hate this kind of girl, because I can't distinguish when they're faking or not. Yes I know I am being too cautious and irrational, but I need it. Life taught me to always be careful when choosing friends or people who will involve much in your life, so you don't get disappointed in the end.
Well anyway, this girl is like a jewel, too precious to be ignored yet too risky to be involved in my life. I know someday I'll be hurt by this kind of friend; they are too busy with themselves they won't know if they had hurt other people.
But sometimes I wonder how she feels, receiving that many attentions I know I would never receive. She must really enjoy her life. I envy her.

And I hate this kind of girl so much.