Love

What is love? I think I had my first love when I was in 7th grade of junior high school, and after that I've never really had any serious feeling towards a person, unless if they're the one who came for me. The meaning of love is so precious for me, I can't bear to see people nowadays throw the words of love anytime they want in every place; that disgusts me.

There's this one person, whom I think he's my first love, and now I still hear from him and I feel glad knowing he's fine. Back then in junior highschool, he was the Head of Students Union (or say, Ketua OSIS). He was just soooo cooool I often stalked him after the classes were over (well I just saw him off in the bus he took home, though, if that counts as stalking). When it's morning, I always stood in front of my class and seeing people who just came, wondered if he was coming everyday. And whenever I saw him, I feel this happy feeling eventhough I was just seeing him from far.
Oh, and when I was in 7th grade, I had some friends (I no longer keep in touch with them eventually), and I told them about this guy who had been my crush. And there's this one girl, just call him April, she knows how much I like this guy and she once shared a photo of him she got from her sister's friend yearbook (her sister's friend is an alumnus from my former junior highschool).
Encouraged by the motivation to know him, I bravely sent him a text. And wonderfully, he replied nicely (because he's really a nice guy). We started texting each other after that, but it was always me who started (you can say that I was a passively-aggressive kind back then). Sadly, he never knew who I really am. Well I don't know if now he already knows that I am the one who texted him wildly, since until know we hardly know each other. It's a sad story.
One day, a friend of mine (the one who gave me my nickname) told me that April and him went out. It wasn't a drama, but I was directly going to toilet, to cry. Starting from that day, I hate April, even until now I still have a bad preconception about her. What really broke my heart is, not after so long she broke up with him with the rumors said that she's bored with him. Well what a bitch! I knew that there was nothing I could do, I really want to talk with him and comfort him, but I'm in no place to do such. But time passes, somehow. Everything's just a past and everybody accepts it as a memory. So do I. It's still a sad memory, though.

After that moment, I no longer feel  that I ever liked someone as much as this, I mean he was my first love, everyone seemed so plain. Eventhough after that I went out with some guys, I felt that I just played around (and I'm guessing the guys also did the same so there's no need to feel sorry). Except for this one guy I met in highschool. I was the one who broke our tie, because he's just too obsessive and our relationship started to get unhealthy (if you know what I mean). He desperately said that he was so in love with me and convinced me to get back with me, but I refused. I know he's a good guy, he's really a good guy, but I don't like on how he treated me. Well, we kissed, and did some make outs. But if I didn't broke up with him, maybe I'm no longer virgin. So I think it was a good decision back then to broke up with him. And see, now he's with another girl, doing fine than ever.

So what is love again? I don't think it's such an easy word nor an easy thing to do.